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Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Atheistjustin Shaves, Compares Dollar Shave Club and Harrys

Good evening dick faces,

How was your July 4th weekend? Did you drink too much, call your ex, fight a loved one, blow off a limb, and drive drunk? If you didn't answer yes to all of those, you're a pussy. But at least you're alive.

Anyway,  as many of you might know, I have been through a lot with my facial hair. I blossomed early and had my first awkward mustache at 12. Being that I lived with my mom, I would borrow her electric razor and shave it off once every other week. Thanks for nothing dad.

Finally at 13, I remember my mom looking at me weird and pointing out that there was 1 single dark beard hair coming out of my face. It was all over from there. I had been so excited- so looking forward to the day I would have a beard, Now, I fucking hate this bullshit daily hassle.

At 14 I had a chin-strap. My town was full of guido assholes and that was the appropriate and popular facial hair style for high schoolers that couldn't quite grow a full beard but wanted to look intimidating to that senior named James with the huge triceps.




I had that same look for a while and it with my Mac Miller obsession, it seemed as though that was just how I was going to look for the rest of my life. 

Thankfully I decided against that.

As a young man, I experimented a lot with my facial hair and briefly (2 days) had a mustache. If you look through this site, you'll find the 'about me' section and stumble across THIS gem


Just a 17 year-old Atheistjustin with a mustache eating yogurt seductively.

Most recently was my commitment to a massive, full beard in which I did not shave for 1 year.



 'Twas impressive to some extent and some girls were into it. A lot of guys came up to me and rubbed it. A lot more women cowered in fear and avoided me.

Now, in my age of 21 and no longer needing to look older, I have gone back to my roots as a clean shaven chicken.


Shout out to that beer wall and my sarcastic frat boy costume. 

Anyway, while maintaining this youthful glow, I have continued to experiment to find the EXACT right razor and cream combo. Let me tell you something bitches, my days of Gillette and Barbasol are LONG GONE.

I went and tried both Harry's and Dollar Shave Club.

Here's finally the point of this blogpost- a review.

HARRYS-

The packaging was pretty cool and the trial package was only $3 and shipped a week earlier than DSC. The shave gel was really creamy and is made with aloe, so it smelt fantastic and honestly felt really nice to put on.

However, the actual razor blade itself was pretty disappointing. With the fresh blade I nicked myself a few times on the neck. The handle was pretty plain and cheap looking. It also just broke as I picked it up to look at it again. What a piece of shit.

DOLLAR SHAVE CLUB-

Packaging was made out of cardboard and some weird hay-looking bullshit. Not as impressive, but it did come with this little handbook including some info on July 4th and cosmetic advice. Weird combination.

The handle was incredibly superior, very good looking and sturdy. The trial set was 2 dollars more expensive than Harry's, but included 4 razor blades. Not just 1. The blades were incredible and got a very, very close shave. I did end up nicking myself by my sideburn, however, trying to use the straight edge.

The Shave Butter was FUCKING NUTS. Shit is bomb bro. It was weird not seeing that cloudy mass of white foam on my face as I have grown so accustom to, but like Kramer in that episode of Seinfeld, I got an incredible shave with this butter.

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Order Dollar Shave Club. For real yo. As a broke college kid, saving money in ANY WAY is a huge deal. Any dollar saved by using DSC over the Gillette and Barbasol life goes directly into my alcohol consumption- a very heavy expense in and of itself.

If you do end up trying it out, use my personal referral code and help me save even more money to blow on Jameson.


http://shaved.by/fMvyi


I will leave you all now with a picture of Bill Burr.









Who IS Atheistjustin?

My photo
I am Never Wrong. I am Awesome. I do NOT eat ass.