Alright I'm back. That shit was so large I actually had to take a shower after. Showering in college is about the saddest experience one could endeavor. It's like standing in a holocaust shower. You're uncomfortable, what's coming out of those pipes probably isn't clean water, and you're wearing flip flops.
Anyway, I haven't written in here in a long time. Mainly because I've been busy masturbating. I've also been busy playing FIFA 15 and scratching my balls.
I also have 2 new delightful step sisters.
While I'm talking about them, I'll explain that one is a little bitch ass bitch who doesn't take no shit and just does whatever she wants. On this blog, we will call her, BitchAssBitch.
The other one is a charming little 15 year old girl who does nothing. She's the greatest thing to happen to my family since the Keurig. I will call her by her real name; TitsMcGee.
TitsMcGee and BitchAssBitch are new editions to my family. I'm sure having 2 vagina'd teenagers in my life will be as much fun as dancing on hot coals and needles while shitting out Hugh Hefner as a 24 inch cock fucks you in the ears and a lone Bass Clarinet plays in the distance.
Blogposts soon to come.
I didn't really talk much about my winter break because it was boring as fuck. The most exciting event was when I hooked up my playstation to my work television.
But now that I am back in college I can talk about getting annihilated and putting my penis in bad places.
Though, I am pretty bad at doing both of those things.
This semester I will be joining a fraternity and if all goes well I won't die. I'm not really a big fan of khakis and polo shirts, but there comes a time in every man's life when he decides to dress like an Indian.
I don't think I'll be allowed to put up what happens to me on here, but I will tell you when I finally achieve frat-level. I am fervently excited and my nipples are hard just thinking about it.
I can't wait for my Brothers to read this.
College has only just begun again and the only thing I have experienced is my asshole shitting at immense rates due to my ingesting of chipotle. I have learned the hard way that my body cannot handle processing 2 burritos.
I should be in jail for what I've done to that bathroom.
In other news, there's a blizzard going on in New Jersey and making a snowman was more fun than the past 3 sexual experiences I've had.
Shout out to the big breasted Greek ladies that helped me build this. Please let me hit.
Also, I will share with all of my fans some good news: I am taking another creative writing class. However, unlike the last class, instead of short-stories I will be writing screenplays.
That's right Ladies and Gentlemen, your boy J. Hawth$wagboy is going to start writing some insane screenplays. I have a few ideas in mind:
1. A Transvestite That Falls In Love With A Mexican Mime
2. A Mob Boss Who Decides To Join The Bukake Porn Industry
3. A Handsome Young Atheist Who Fucks Mad Bitches In College
One of those is based on a true story.
The first one.
When I write some of these stories and send them to my teacher, I will make sure to upload them here, after getting my grades.
In the mean time I will leave you with a picture of someone who spent a lot of time masturbating in his youth.