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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Atheistjustin Ends Racism

Alright so before I say anything, I'm just going to come out and admit it.

I'm an apathetic asshole.

I'm sorry. Listen, I agree- people should not be violently murdered or even regularly murdered. I mean, I'm not aware of any non-violent/peaceful murders, but I don't think those are very nice either.

If it were up to me, everyone would solve problems or disagreements by sword-fighting with pink dildos.

But, when it comes to a black person being killed, over a thousand miles away, who may or may not have been innocent, it just doesn't affect me. I'm apathetic toward the situation.

And even when another black person is strangled to death by a cop, in New York City, on film, for seemingly no reason, I still plead to being apathetic.

Yeah, I know, I'm a piece of shit. But look, I am an 18-year old White Male in Central New Jersey. To be completely honest, the only thing I have to worry about is whether or not I passed Expository writing.

Listen, if you're a black person, or of color, and you feel like these attacks and incidents mean something to you, then I agree that you should speak how you feel. Speaking them in a non-violent, educated/informed manner, is not something I am against.

I am all for Freedom of Speech. Plastic-pussy-nipple-tassel-vaginas. See? Freedom.

But what I don't condone, is a bunch of fucking idiots walking around, shouting on campuses about shit they don't know and shit that does not affect them.

I go to Rutgers University- y'all know that. If you don't know that, you don't know who I am. If you don't know who I am, you're missing out, because I am amazing. I love nipples and cookie dough- but perhaps that is beside the point.

Anyway, at Rutgers University, we have a really diverse campus and a diverse police department. As a matter of fact, Rutgers gets 3 police departments: The Rutgers Police Department, The Police Department of New Brunswick, and The State Police of New Jersey.

So basically, for any 1 white cop you find here, you can probably find 3 non-white police officers.

Basically, what I'm getting at here, is that this is not an issue here. There are no instances of an unfair,  overtly violent police force here.

Listen, I get it, in New York and Missouri, there are racists. And yes, some of those racists may be police officers. And yes, of course, maybe- maybe they killed a few innocent black people because they were driven by racism.

But no matter what actually happened to Mike Brown or Eric Garner, it doesn't affect us here in Rutgers. I'm not going to say that I know every detail about those incidents- I'm totally admitting ignorance.

I did not follow the cases, I did not follow the news, I did not care. Why? Because where I am, with who I am, I have nothing to concern myself with.

The issue is not the Entire United States Police Department- it's not. The issue is what some protestors are doing.

Earlier today, I stepped on a school bus to go back to my dorm and there was a man, and a group of protestors, all chanting about how 'they need to bring the oppression to the oppressors,' and how, 'sacrifices will be made,' and how, 'if there are arrests they will raise hell to public safety.'

Bitch. What in the fuck are you talking about.

In no way, is it okay to threaten with violent protests or to talk about 'raising hell to public safety.' No matter where or who you are, this is not an appropriate/healthy reaction.

I also really don't understand this logic.

"They killed some people, so let's burn shit down, attack people, steal shit, and then everything will be just fine."

I really can't connect the dots here.

I'm not a racist. Really. No matter what color you are, I will make fun of you.

I think a true way to end racism is to acknowledge and accept- to poke fun and mock at our differences. Denying our differences, or saying 'we are all the same,' is a stupid, 5-year old way of trying to fix this.

The truth is were not the same. And I think bringing humor to these differences is what makes it okay. I think that if you can accept our differences and turn it into something that makes you laugh, something positive, then that's awesome.

My issue is not that people are protesting. I can understand that people are angry and upset with these incidents. But if you are going to go out and protest, do it where it matters. Inform yourself of every detail of what happened. Seriously.

Don't just follow some fuckboy on an LX in New Brunswick because he sounds like he knows what he's talking about. Be an individual, educate yourself, and then maybe protest a little bit in a non-violent way.

And honestly, here's what I would do if I was a person who felt the need to protest: I'd be a cop.

That's right. I'd go to police academy and become a police officer and make sure that I am the 1 cop who is not racist- who reports incidents of racism or violence in the department. Seriously, that's the only way you'll make a difference.

People want to spend money on getting cameras on the front of police uniforms.

Are you dumb?

There are already cameras on most-if not every- police dashboard and adding these cameras will only raise state taxes. I don't know about you, but you can suck my dick if you think New Jersey is going to take any more of my income.

These cameras also aren't going to end the killings of people. Yes, they will film an officer's every movement, but thats the only thing they will really do.

At the end of the day, nothing is going to change. You can shout and fuck up all the things you want, but all you're going to end up doing is looking like an asshole and probably get arrested.

I think this shit is all just part of the media trying to get us distracted again. It's amazing how fast we went from ISIS to Ebola to this. I'm sure in another 2 weeks, everything will be forgotten with Christmas and in the New Year the cycle will start all over again.

I leave you all now with a picture of a man who truly understood how to make a difference while staying educated, peaceful, and handsome.

No, not Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., but Neil Patrick Harris.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Atheistjustin Watches Friend Get His Ass Beat, Does Nothing To Assist

Thanksgiving Break is a little teaser to Winter Break. It's like what Spring Break is for summer break. It's like the foreplay before intercourse. It's like the fart before the giant log of shit you're about to lay.

Thanksgiving Break is a great time to reconnect with the people you haven't seen in 3 months but have been stalking online in an effort to get over your loneliness.

Maybe it's just me.

But for the majority, a lot of your hometown people come back for a few, beloved days, and you all get shitfaced It's a college tradition that dates back all the way to the 1980's- an ancient time period.

Perhaps out of all my friends, the greatest person who could have came back was my best friend Asshole. For my readers who don't know who Asshole is- well, he's an Asshole.

Asshole makes most of the appearances on this blog by first getting belligerently drunk and then doing something stupid. I spent a lot of time with Asshole in my high school days and Asshole taught me a lot of things. For example, it's okay to be fat. You'll still get easy pussy as long as you have a BAC over 0.20.

Thanks Asshole.

On this particular break, I found Asshole at a party. It was about 10 when I got there and you could tell just by smelling him that he had been drinking for at least 2 hours already.

It was destined to be a great night.

Asshole spent a good majority of the party fighting with his girlfriend and stumbling into the bathroom, so I spent most of my time with more coherent people.

I mingled around for a little while, trying to kiss this attractive girl from Towson, until by 11:30 the party shut down. Was I sad? Yes. Though I was failing at getting with Towson Girl, there was always the chance of me masturbating in the bathroom.

For some reason, it took people hours to leave the party. They left gradually as some people had to wait for rides, some were to fucked up to drive, and some people just didn't want to accept that the party was over.

Around this time, some strange occurrences arose as people still kept coming in. I don't know who some of these people are, but one was a black gentlemen who came over to the bar.

Asshole sat behind the bar, staring out into space as the liquor inside him was still digesting.

The black guy asked, "y'all ain't got no liquor?"

I told him, "Nah man, the party is over."

Asshole decided he would butt into the conversation and ask, "Who do you know here?"

This was the worst decision Asshole had ever made.

The black guy fired back, quite enraged at the question. "The fuck you say to me?"

Asshole replied, "Who do you know here? Get the fuck out!"

It was all over from there.

In the distance, someone started shouting "oh shit, Asshole. You shouldn't have said that."

The black gentlemen went around the bar, grabbed Asshole by the time, punched him in the face 3 times, and then kicked him as his drunk ass was down on the ground.

There was yelling, shouting, and eventually people were able to get the guy off of Asshole. I'm not quite sure what happened to the attacker, but I went over to Asshole.

His mouth bloody, his hair distraught and tangled, his tie backwards, blood on his jacket, Asshole stood up.

He looked me right in the eyes.

He asked me.

"Seriously though, who did he know here?"

About an hour and a half went by until everyone was gone. I thought about the events that had just taken place and was astounded I had watched my friend get his ass beat.

I thought about it- I did nothing. I watched him get his ass beat. Part of this bothered me. I was a pussy. I thought about it some more, though, and honestly, Asshole totally should have got his ass beat he was a fucking idiot.

Also, I probably would have only gotten my ass beat as well, since the only person I ever fought was a girl when I was 10 years old.

Thanksgiving Break was just a taste of what might ensue during the winter break, which lasts over a month.

I leave you all now with a picture of someone who has never gotten his ass beat. Samuel L. Jackson.

Who IS Atheistjustin?

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I am Never Wrong. I am Awesome. I do NOT eat ass.